Off season is great and everything, I mean I have no complaints about sleeping in until 9 a.m. and having time to play and having significantly less spandex to launder, but this year, right now, I wouldn’t mind if I were still training and racing. It would give me something else to focus on besides the fact that I am MOVING in TWO WEEKS and I don’t know where to and I don’t have a job and I am freaking out and I fucking hate it.
I hate that I feel stuck up here on top of this fucking mountain, I hate that the economy is fucking tanked because it’s really putting a damper on my forward progress, I hate that my sweet innocent cat (who, can I please remind you, I did NOT want to adopt because of situations EXACTLY LIKE THIS ONE) is somehow going to be a victim here because he’s going to be in transition too and kitty rolls with the punches even worse than I do, and I really fucking hate the fact that amidst all this, I am not training and thus I illogically feel like a fatass.
God.
(Oh, also I hate being illogical.)
I might have to go into high-gear efficiency mode pretty soon. Re-home the fish, be open to the possibility that someone other than me, someone with a house and a life and an income and no propensity to pick up and kiss a cat who hates being picked up and kissed, might provide a happier situation for kitty, take a bunch of ill-fitting clothes down to Goodwill in Reno, put the couch and table and chairs and CRAP on craigslist, and move on. Move forward. Get out of here and get ready for next season and, major side bonus, be somewhere that has more than like one person to train with.
So see, despite the stress and fuckings and all that, I am excited about moving. I would just really like to have some answers, some definites, an idea of maybe which airport to purchase holiday flights out of, etc. It’s one thing to throw all your stuff in your car and be free like a bird when you are 22 and just out of college. Quite another thing when you are 30, and you (stupidly) have 4 animals and 5 bikes and living standards that have long since matured past the dorm room, and there’s no way in hell you can fit all your stuff in your car.
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This entry was posted on Friday, November 14th, 2008 at 11:51 am and is filed under enjoy the blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Oh yes, the joys of too many unknowns. They drive us all batty.
Sounds like you’ve got a list and that’s a good way to corral things and knock em off one at a time.
Not knowing where you’ll be living is a super high stresser…hang in there.
come live with me. you can have steves office. he would love that.
Aww… I sympathize. I am sorry that you are freaking out.
I saw Travis yesterday while I changed a flat on my fixie, which I got on the way home (luckily near Freewheel), which I changed in about 37 seconds because I was in a hurry. He is thinking good thoughts for you. And if it is of any help, you and kitty can couch-surf here any time.
Ooh boy….WAY too many f-bombs being thrown around for public communication;-)
Dirty Mouth??? Clean it up with Orbit Gum!!
This sucks. But you have had many character-building experiences, I’ve no doubt you will pull through and manage just fine. I would bet on it.